In a recent (quite possibly fake or unaired) Mountain Dew commercial, Soviet MC Ill Mitch is seen riding his CCS skateboard and kicking a can of Dew about, claiming it gives him the "get up and go," to be so good. It’s understandable that the company wouldn’t officially claim to use it, as his skills are atrocious. Don’t let the giant orb of a helmet deceive you--Ill Mitch is no Danny Way.
With lyrics such as "Hey ladies fans can we fall in love / I fit you like a boxing glove," it’s reasonable to assume that Ill Mitch is as bad at boxing as he is at his other known "talents." What’s somewhat impressive is that the man just won’t quit. After supposed "years on the scene," it’s difficult to gather information such as tour dates, albums, or really anything from his website aside from a plethora of photos, lyrics and YouTube videos--one in which he’s jailed in Legoland.
This suggests that there still may be a place for Ill in pop culture amongst the William Hungs and Joe Plumbers of our country. Not only is Ill Mitch bad at everything he does--and fully willing to exploit this in a most demeaning fashion--he quite possibly may be the best at being the worst. With advertisers focusing more on quirky humor and reality TV losing viewers due to a lack of new humiliations, Ill Mitch may be the entertainment world’s much-needed life preserver. The man is a living, breathing Napolean Dynamite, save for the fact he’s lived in America for over five years and has the vocabulary of a third-grader.
Fake Soda Ads
More Stats +/-
Make Your Own Glowing Mountain Dew
Video Game Fuel
Fake TV Shows for Prominent Product Placement
Hearing Impaired Eyewear Attachments
Solar Panel-Packed Smartwatches