Superstar
I'd recommend setting your card case to stun if it contains any one of these badass business cards.

Business cards are the sign of a surefire winner/card enthusiast. Imagine how much respect you'd get with edible business cards. The only things I have in this world are my balls, and my badass business cards, and I don't give them out to just anyone.

Implications - My favorite business card of all has got to be the self-promoting turntable card, which sports a record on its front and actually turns! How crazy is that? It's as much a toy as it is a way to give a potential employer all of your contact information.