TextJake.com is a service that allows comedian and actor Jake Hurwitz to write your texts for you. You can buy one to ten messages on the website. After your purchase, simply submit a screenshot of the conversation you're having trouble with, along with a little context on the guy or gal you're messaging, and wait for Jake's reply (within 24 hours).
Now, you might be wondering: "why would I want this Jake person to tell me what to text?" Though Jake may or may not be a moron, he is a "Texting Casanova," equipped with the charm, humor and wit to draft the perfect text (or Tinder) response. Short and sweet!
Texting is a skill like any other and requires practice to perfect. Avoid mishaps and blunders by leaving your texting dilemmas to a professional.