The recent Nick Offerman woodworking segment that aired on Conan demonstrates not just the Parks and Recreation star's woodcraft skills, but also his emoticon savvy.
Nick Offerman's Handcrafted Wood Emojis are a foot in diameter and weigh around 14 pounds each. In the fake Nick Offerman woodworking infomercial, he expands on this theory that giving your friends, family and loved ones physical wood-cut emojis is a more American (and difficult) mode of communication.
To communicate using the wood emojis, one would need to carry them around in an industrial sack with the necessary tools to hammer them together. You also get your choice of wood varnish or shellac to finish the unique emoji message you can give. The actor suggests some emoji phrases, which are hilarious as well.