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Custom Labeled Water Bottles

The Ultimate Hydration Experience

— September 26, 2007 — Art & Design
Premier Label Water Company (PLWC) has come up with an innovative idea, custom bottles with water. The price tag? $3.00 a bottle with logo and water. Plus, if you are customizing them for your company or organization, throw in an extra $600.00 for label art and graphic design.

Remember when life was simple? Whenever you wanted a drink of water, you could always get it free. At home you just turned on the tap, if you were at a restaurant the server turned on the tap, filled up a glass, and brought it to your table, sometimes with a slice of lemon.

If you are a baby boomer, you can still remember that. Then our children came along and ruined everything. They grew up drinking the stuff. When they reached puberty, everything we ever taught them went the way of Margaret Mitchell's “Gone with the Wind,” including tap water.

“But, mom, they put chemicals in there.” I heard them say. “Do you see those little things squirming around at the bottom?” they added, “are they tadpoles or something”?

So, in self defense, I boiled tap water and put it in the frig. Now, if I had a mind like Donald Trump, I would have cashed in on the idea of bottled water. However, could you just hear the comments from family members if any of us came up with an idea like that?

“Are you nuts? Nobody would buy bottled H2O! What have you been smoking? Turn on the spigot, woman.”

The rest is history, bottled water is everywhere at a cost of between $1.29 and $1.99 a bottle, depending on which convenience store, gas station, or supermarket you purchase water.

Entrepreneurs are also everywhere, so now we have to pay more for fancy customized bottles. Look for them soon bearing your favorite store's logo. I'm sure my granddaughter will be paying close attention to whichever water bottle Paris Hilton is toting (you know it won't be Wal-Mart). Now, I'm sunk. Water will be costing more than a gallon of gas.

I feel like creating a custom water bottle, containing my secret distillation processed H2O, that says "What's In Your Wallet?" and sell it to Capital One.