Internet-Enabled Vibrator Edit
For Long Distance Loving

For those who just can’t get enough of their sexual partner there’s the Rabbit Internet-enabled vibrator. It “enables” couples who can’t be together to connect through the Internet for long-distance pleasure. Your partner gets to watch and control your sexual experience. What the freakshow does that mean? It’s not bad enough your partner is not there, but they get to control your get-down from thousands of miles away? What if it malfunctions? Can you imagine going to the emergency room with a black eye or some other weird injury and telling them that you in Ohio, had some rough sax with your partner in China and things got out of hand? They’ll never believe you, they’ll make you see the hospital shrink, you’ll be on the six o’clock news, and it’ll probably kill your mother.