Ben Preiss
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The traditions of Christmas are undergoing some major changes. Yah, “ho, ho, ho” is offensive to some women, and Hugh Hefner is the only old guy that can get away with wearing red velvet pajamas and hanging around with “hos”. But Hef isn’t fat—that would be crossing the line according to the Surgeon General. “It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise. It is absolutely critical,” U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson said in an interview after a presentation on obesity at the Boston Children’s Museum. So, don’t be leaving any cookies out for old Saint Lardass either. This year consider putting out some bran muffins or granola bars instead.  America’s top doc told the Herald yesterday that Santa Claus should slim down, in the latest blow struck in a global politically correct crusade against the jolly fat man.
Touting NFL players who work with kids to promote healthy lifestyles, Galson added: “Santa is no different.”
Santa’s waistline is the most recent casualty in a war which has already taken away his pipe and his ability to scoop children up and sit them on his knee.
Newspapers abroad have been filled with headlines bemoaning the plight of Australian Santas ordered not to say “ho, ho, ho” for fear of offending women or scaring children, and British Santas sent to boot camp to lose weight.
Some American Santas are taught not to greet people with “Merry Christmas” in case it offends people of different faiths, according to Tim Connaghan, founder of the International University of Santa Claus.
(news.bostonherald)References: wonkette, news.bostonherald Filed In: |
