Lesbian Breeding Attempts Edit
Scientists Try To Mate Same Sex Polar Bears

It looks like the lesbian fascination has spread to the animal kingdom. The folks at Japan’s Kushiro Municipal Zoo tried unsuccessfully to mate two polar bears, but did not realize that they were both female until last week.

Tsuyoshi and Kurumi are the resident bears. Tsuyoshi was identified as a boy three months after she was born and no one bothered to check after that.

Zookeepers and researchers gave all kinds of excuses for trying to make a lesbian out of Tsuyoshi:

1. She was too furry

2. We couldn’t detect a boner, but what do we know?

3. Bears always squat when they pee

4. Manual checks are not practical

5. We were hesitant to anaesthetize Tsuyoshi to make sure

6. Polar bears have outies (navels)

Kurumi was not amused and began to growl the theme song from Yentl. Tsuyoshi jumped ship to find herself within the scheme of things….