It's the Giant Pumpkin Charlie Brown! Only serious pumpkin growers should attempt this one. You just can't grow a 400 pound pumpkin in a tiny apartment in the middle of New York City! Where would you put your couch? You'd have to get rid of your prized DVD collection just to make room for your Big Orange Friend.
If you really must grow one of these babies, I suggest a few must-haves:
One - Get yourself a yard. Not just any yard either, a yard with lots of SPACE (call around, someone must be willing to part with some of their yard space for a weirdo with a dream and a pumpkin seed. My advice: don't tell them it will grow to be 400 pounds. Never underestimate the element of surprise!)
Two - Get your seeds & grow 'em. Expect to spend long hours caring for your pumpkin (it really is like having a child). Water it, nourish it, play the harp for it on moonlit nights (it makes all the difference between say a 300 pound pumpkin and a GIANT 400 POUND PUMPKIN!)
Three - Get your hair done at harvest time so that when someone calls Guiness about your pumpkin, you don't look like a super geek when the television crews arrive.
Four - Invite everyone you know (and don't know) over to your place to help you bake and eat 9327 pumpkin pies.
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