Stephen Colbert, 43, has decided to run for president representing both parties.
"Shortly before making the announcement, Colbert appeared on 'The Daily Show' (the show that spawned Colbert's spin-off) and played cagey, claiming he was only ready to consider a White House bid. He entered the studio set pulled by a bicycle pedaled by Uncle Sam and quickly pulled out a bale of hay and a bottle of beer to show that he was 'an Average Joe.'"
"Colbert said his final decision would be announced on a 'more prestigious show,' which turned out to be his own.
He made his announcement on the show probably because he knew, as he recently wrote, that, "It's clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative."
Running For Both Parties
More Stats +/-
Seussian Breakfast Bars
Cheesy Branded Apparel
Cloud-Connected Bitcoin ATMs
Unassuming Cocktail Lounges
Double Chocolate Croissants