All the wankers out there will be happy to hear about Sperm For Tickets. Passes will be given to any donors in Europe, to a festival of their choice, for contributing to Ireland's severely depleted sperm reserves. Uh...by mail, in special "donation" containers.
The slogan for the initiative is, "We need sperm donations... You need festival tickets... wanna strike a deal?"
The Sperm For Tickets package include donation containers which are delivered by speedy courier services. These packages can be requested at Spermfortickets.com.
Who dreams this stuff up?