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Facial Hair On Acid to Inspire the Unshaven

 - Jan 22, 2009
These bizarre beard and facial hair fetishes raise an inevitable question: Why? Why grow your sideburns into these hideously ridiculous shapes? Is there nothing else for you to do, or is this a case of excessive doses of acid over the years? If you have the urge to grow, why not grow a nice herb garden, or grow your own tulips?

Nevertheless, these images are too funny in all their glorious weirdness. Every single sideburn is so bizarre, one could write an entire novel dedicated to the impossibility of its existence.

Take the first guy. Where do you begin? It must be impossible to enter through normal-sized door frames. And he is wearing a white apron, just like a butcher. Imagine if you came down to your local butcher’s shop and he had grown his beard out like this. No. It just wouldn’t make me buy his lamb chops. And what about the guy who has grown his beards to look like a tarantula? Eiyks. He gives me the creeps.

The last guy in the gallery should just be stopped, before the madness spreads. Or is he competing with the statue of Liberty?