Instrumental Agent Lets Musicians Get a Grip

Okay, this is not really as bad as it sounds. Introducing Gorilla Snot, a naturally refined tree resin used by musicians for getting a grip on their instruments.

This clever gripping aid, when applied conservatively to the fingers, utilizes the body’s natural chemistry and heat to form a temporary bond, thus aiding your ability to grip onto those hard-to-hold instruments.

Yep, still kinda gross, but the effects disappear instantly with no mess or stains within seconds after use.