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The 'Safety Shorts' are Built for Maximum Protection

 - Aug 11, 2011
An innovative pair of underwear called 'Safety Shorts' promises to guard wearers against excessive genital radiation after prolonged cell phone and laptop exposure.

Rico Kogleck, a member of the team, claims that inspiration struck during a class brainstorming session. He and four schoolmates spent a year developing the underpants, aptly named 'Safety Shorts,' which are now retailing for $42. The team is pictured with their product, above.

The ultra-high frequencies emitted by cell phones and laptops have been shown to negativly impact male fertility, including decreasing sperm count, sperm concentration, and sperm quality.

The fabric used to develop 'Safety Shorts' contains a silver thread that deflects 99% of cell phone and laptop radiation. A fabric with similar protective properties has already been introduced in Germany.

The protective underpants promise to preserve the family jewels from pesky health problems, but prudent pants-wearers should continue to don jockstraps to ward off life’s rougher moments.