This hilarious Middle-Earth timeline will help any creature, wizard or Hobbit run successful expeditions. The guide is a clever commentary of the likeness between the movies and books The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings in the way in which the protagonists fulfill their quests.
In the defense of both works, if the quest were a success the first time around in The Hobbit, it would have been a shrewd move to stick to a similar plan as they did in Lord of the Rings -- "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Warning: Do not try to use this Middle-Earth timeline elsewhere. Not only will you find it incredibly difficult, it may also lead to you being ostracized by your community.