You think this is wierd now, but you won't be laughing next time you have to go!
The gotta go briefcase is waterproof with high quality Mahogany leather, a strong lightweight aluminum internal structure, and stainless steel bowl with generously equipped sealing lid. "Quietly and discreetly go about your personal "business" anywhere you please with a fold out leather privacy panel which tucks away neatly to the side when you have completed your multi-tasking. A toilet paper dispenser easily swings out and can be conveniently stored in an inconspicuous storage compartment under the padding [for added discretion] when not in use. Maximum weight capacity is 80 Kilos (approx.175 lbs.). Exceeding the recommended weight will void all warranties and may result in rupture of waste tank, possible bacterial contamination of briefcase contents, and massive stench."