Superstar
Twitter Trends
Biology specialist Kurt Zoglauer is now working with Humboldt University in Berlin on a project that will clone ideal Christmas trees. Zoglauer points to the fact that approximately 40% of Tanenbaums are ill-suited to the holidays and yet, despite their inadequacy, they still take up room on arboreal farms for at least 10 years.

Germany's government has teamed up with Zoglauer in his effort to produce model flora. Those who have come on board have designated the year of 2016 as the most reasonable date for the launch of the forest-based cloning endeavor. Perfection is the standard that the scientists will look to, making no exceptions along the way for dented trunks or discolored foliage.