Superstar
I'm guessing that if MP3 players had been invented in the 1980s, they would look something like the Retro Mobile MP3 Player from USB Brando. This MP3 player is modeled after a cell phone that time forgot.

The Retro Mobile MP3 Player is so much more than a 1980s knockoff, however. This MP3 player can play music from an SD card or the radio, and it even doubles as a portable speaker. Now you can finally listen to your old Don Johnson songs the way they were meant to be heard. You've gotta love the 80s.