You'll never have to worry about making it to the pearly white gates again; besides, being good these days is overrated and not as much fun. Now you can Reserve a Spot in Heaven. Instead of giving to the collection basket every Sunday, simply save your change and for $12.79 to $15.95 you can guarantee yourself a spot up there or your money back.
Kind of a catch 22. If you end up in hell, how are you going to get your money back? You're dead. However, it is a devilishly clever idea, more of a gimmick I would imagine. Although I am sure some people would get suckered into something like this for whatever reason.
Although, with a promise like this, how could you refuse?
The Essential Travel Kit includes:
- Heavenly issued certificate of reservation with a unique I.D. number registered in the Book of Light
- A First class ticket to Heaven
- The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled
- Heaven 101 mini informational guide.
And for an extra couple bucks you can upgrade to the All Access Travel Kit which gets you:
- All access VIP pass. This pass will grant you access to â€œVIP exclusive areasâ€ including the Land of Milk and Honey and Thug Mansion, where all the elite get together and kick it
I'm defiantly going to get the all access pass just in case: because I wouldn't want to miss out on kickin it wit ma homies! Wurd. Peace.
Reserve A Spot In Heaven
More Stats +/-
Hearty Nutrient-Dense Drinks
Balanced Folding Electric Scooters
Stylish Bagel Stacks
Wearable Travel Binoculars