Viral Religious War Edit
Monks Trash Temple

In this corner, we have a bearded Armenian monk in a red-and-pink robe. In the other corner, a black-clad Greek Orthodox monk with a nasty bloody gash on his forehead.

Ding, ding, ding!

Where are we?

We’re at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem. It is the site of Jesus’ crucifixion, burial, and possibly his resurrection. There is a procession planned here to commemorate the holy event.

The Greek “Serafim” is upset that one of the key Greek Orthodox monks is not present. The Armenian “Pakrat” says “Tough baklava” and begins the processional march anyway.

Round one: Serafim throws the first punch; Pakrat blocks and gets him with a left hook.

A 90-year-old lady, who looked a lot like ZaSu Pitts in an olive drab shmatta yelled “Meeskait! get him in the kishka.”

It’s over in less than one minute; quicker than Cassius Clay (now Muhammad Ali) dropped Sonny Liston with a phantom punch in 1965. An Armenian Patriarchate counts down to 10, but Serafim is out cold and Israeli riot police are called in. They are holding assault rifles. A fight like this has not been seen since the Ethiopian and Coptic Christians were hitting the alter wine causing a near riot a few years ago.