If your bum deserves the best (or your poop doesn't stink), you are ready for the Kohler Numi, an ultra-luxurious toilet-bidet with its own footwarmer and built-in music system. The heated seat rises and falls automagically, and the special bidet attachment has a remote control.
$6,400 is the manufacturer's suggested retail price. If your heart's desire has always been a palace for your poop, consider the Kohler Numi.
The Kohler Numi uses a device in the bidet that will spray you in best places with the best temperature -- all adjustable via the touchscreen remote. If breaking wind is part of your routine, then you will appreciate the warm air that the built-in fan will waft across your bum.
You can even plug your iPhone 4 into the Kohler Numi. (Tweet me!)