This one was just too funny to not put in. The "instant relief lasting up to 6 hours" is available in gum and lotion forms. I guess this is one way to derail anyone who becomes overly excited!
The gum is appears to be the safer of the two products, as the instructions for the cream (see excerpt below), warns of potential side effects.
If this makes a difference to anyone that is still reading, and not rolling over laughing, the gum is peppermint flavored and the lotion includes a blend of coconut, buttermilk, and vanilla bean, which is physician endorsed.
Handz Off Anti-Masturbatory Gum and Cream
More Stats +/-
Collapsible Folding Drones
Prebuilt Mobile Dwellings
Deodorizing Dog Wipes
Multilingual Smartphone Features
Painterly Sunscreen Packaging