Bikini Espresso Serves up Scantily Clad Coffee Fun
I think it’s the most obvious new trend ever, so I’m really quite surprised that it only seems to be happening in the Pacific Northwest. Maybe we just needed the home place of Starbucks and The Lusty Lady to spark this awesome new trend: Bikini Espresso!
What is Bikini Espresso?
It’s simply a drive thru roadside coffee business featuring lovely young female baristas who wear lingerie or bikinis to work. I think it’s great, and I can always talk my husband into stopping to get me a coffee, thanks to these clever bikini espresso stands!
A Nation That Loves Breasts
I think this is a clever trend, a powerful trend, and I think that it’s a trend that is going to spread. I predict in two years we will be hearing interviews from pastors all over the country that these bikini espresso stands are the newest indication of moral decline and loss of family values in the United States. Whatever. Did I mention yet that the prices at these places tend to be really inexpensive? One of the advantages to the drive-thru is that the locations have a very small footprint, thus the business pays lower rent. The prices on their beverages are always somewhere between very low and quite cheap. I want my 16 oz. mocha and I want it now! YAY! It comes with a smile and cleavage!
Staying in Touch
There is now a great web site, Hot Coffee Girls that keeps an up to date list of bikini espresso locations throughout the Pacific Northwest. Hot Coffee Girls offers reviews, news, a forum, classified ads, photographs, store locations and a section for bikini espresso employees only. If I’m traveling to a different area, I can use Hot Coffee Girls to locate a bikini espresso stand anywhere from Gig Harbor to Everett. Cool!
The local bikini espresso business, Baristas Coffee Company, is now publicly traded and is opening franchise locations in other states. Other businesses, including Java Girls, are also starting to offer franchise. See! I told you this is going to be a hot trend!
With locations in Tacoma and Purdy, Smokin' Hot Espresso has recently completed a fantastic photo shoot! Professional quality photos of their lovely ladies are posted all over their website and Facebook pages, so you get an idea of who you will be seeing when you stop in for your morning perk up. And how can you ignore the clever marquee signs at Sweet Cheeks Espresso in Des Moines, WA? "Tired of watching your figure? Watch ours" This bikini espresso stand offers some funny stuff! Some stands even offer live camera viewing, so you can check to see what the current bikini espresso barista is wearing before you even leave your house.
Someone Always Gets Mad
Of course there are haters out there. Local news stories seem to always be carrying some story about a community outrage in response to a local bikini espresso stand. The media will interview a soccer mom who expresses her disgust that the employees are scantily clad. (I’ve noticed that these soccer moms are always fat and have bad hair, BTW).
It Comes Down To This
We all love our coffee. We also love the convenience of a drive-thru location. Why not start your day with an inexpensive Americano, served up by a lovely lass who is dressed like the annual swimwear issue of Sports Illustrated? Bikini espresso sounds like a great start to the day to me!
Unpublished - Did not make the cut
Bikini Espresso Dominates Pacific Northwest
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