Decoy Face

We all know plenty of annoying people: people you have to talk to in order to preserve a modicum of civility, like the idiot you happen to live next door to. Now you can save time with the Decoy Face, a mask made to look exactly like you.

Wear it behind your head whilst you face away from the dullard you happen to be talking to and do something else, like read the paper. You don’t waste time, and he will think he has your rapt attention. Often people who like to talk don’t really pay attention to the person they’re talking to so this trick may just work.

The Decoy Face is apparently available in ‘sympathetic’, ‘asleep’, ‘unwell’ and ‘moron’ expressions. Contact Sholto Crow for more information.