NPR Chronicles Top 10 Nonsensical TV Hospital Killers

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“ER” has kicked the bucket. The drama came to a conclusion after a 15-season run. Lots of patients died in those 15 seasons. NPR has compiled a list of the top 10 ways ER and hospital patients die that have absolutely nothing to do with reality:

1. Heroism: death with ironic complications. You are saving a cat and have a stroke and end up in the ER bed next a bigot who will live.
2. Falling helicopters. Death by statistical anomaly. Helicopters fall from the sky but usually not on a hospital or ER.
3. Death by terrible secret. You die, because you are hiding your STD from your Mom.
4. Death by redemption: you’re a jerk but you meet a perky-breasted ER intern who gives you reason to live, but you die.
5. Unromantic Death. Your doc has no reason to live and can’t see why you should. He does, you don’t.
6. ER Digital Death: If you don’t have clocks removed, somebody will say “call it” and blam, you’re dead.
7. Curmudgeon Death: you are a gassy, cigar-breathed geezer that has lived a long life and die quietly in your sleep waiting for the ER.
8. Monty Hall of Fame Death: you and famous person are in huge crash. You die. Famous person doesn’t.
9. Death by Agent Screw Up: Your agent says you can do better than “ER” on television. You die of brain cancer or glaucoma.
10. Death by Violins: If you are a part of a montage where violins are playing, you will croak.